I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
