its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
