woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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