Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
