i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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