i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
