I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
