matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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