I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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