I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
