Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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