:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
