Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
