Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
