Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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