I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
