I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
