to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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