Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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