I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
