We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
