why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
