all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize