Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
