Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
