KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize