I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
