If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
