Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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