my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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