His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
