I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
