She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
