it was like his penis was on wheels.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
