You really coming over, don't trick.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
