Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
