turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize