i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
