i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
