someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I cut my penus on the lid.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
