Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
