Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
