I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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