note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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