im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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