Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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