I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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