One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
