Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize