How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
