Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
