Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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