So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
