Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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