he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
