I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
