so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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