Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
