We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
