Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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