Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize