i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So much rum. So many feels.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
