sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
