STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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