I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
