ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
