If i come over, it means nothing
barbara walters just said penis...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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