walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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