OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
