please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize