I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
