then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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