hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
