i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
